gimme a break.!!!

assalamulaikum.

im looking forward for my 1st trip ever to Cambodia.

will left all the stressful and hectic life here in malaysia and hello CAMBODIA! please ensure all the joyful and excitement  is mine. =D

not to sink is hard.

recently, there's a lot of things that i achieve and there's a lot of things that i loses too.

well maybe you can be perfectionist, for one things you wish for, but in other hands you have to sacrifice another one.  you can't have both. err betul ke?

the true is. starting out this semester i have experienced so much. a lot of things i did explored. a lot of lessons i did learned.
pengarah program, setiausaha kelab, timbalan pengarah program and ect.. all i never expect that i can put myself in that position. my schedule is pack!!  apapun  i am so fortunate to have all those opportunity  to build my soft skill . ALLHAMDULILAH.


but on top of it. i do have some loses here and there.

i never fell so sleepy in class , since primary up to my colleges. but recently, is like the sleepy eye treat me so bad. whenever the lecture start about half and hour mata mula la mengada, syaitan pulak rancak  membisikan alunan musik richard stolzman. and i ended up.. arghhhh slap myself hard!!!!!  ini semua berkaitan dengan kitaran tidur yang tak menentu. banyak keje alahai banyak keje! =(


 i think i make my own record since semester 5 started. i less ring my home. seriously, dulu pagi petang wajib gayut dengan mak. sometimes drag sampai berjam. But, nowadays its too hard for me to have my own time  gossiping with mak. haishhh. ni semuu pasal meeting sana sini. project itu ini. test dan quiz.  sabar zuraini sabar.

because of the time constrain. last minute study becoming my best friends. end up result pun macam hampeh. ok, sila ambil pengajaran zuraini. learned your lesson please.

i've been so mean to my body. i did not treat my tummy well. skip lunch and dinner at 3 am in the morning. consume alotsss of caffeine. old town 3 1n 1 coffee menu wajib.   haishhh. unhealthy life style. poor me!


despite of " arghh stress " thingy, whining and sigh-ing here and there.  actually i love studying. whenever you can manage to solve or to get know new things. the feeling is like woww. It’s fun when you understand things that you learn, discover new knowledge and able to apply it in the daily life. kan?
And all the depression. “Aku nak kahwin”. “Nak ballik rumah”. "  Was just a phase.

hopefully all the hardword will paid off. InsyaALLAH

* ada meeting lagi malam ni. paksa diri untuk post sesuatu. =)

satu confession

ASSALAMULAIKUM.


First up. sorry for the long shut down. blame all the work loads, blame all the programsss, blame all the meetingsss, blame all the test and quizzes, blame all the projects and assignmentssss. huhu  because of the long list that i don't have the time to bother at all to jot down any to this place.  =(

anyways. lets move to the confession.

oh,don't get me wrong, i DO care about what people think of me.
i just focused less on the 'what' and more on the 'people think of me'. :P

talk to self

every time we face a difficulties or a failure, stay calm and believe there is a good reason why it happened.

i did not succeed..  should i feel down...???

NO! big NO. no.no.no.

i feel that BEAUTIFUL things are waiting me in the future.

i feel BLESSED  that Allah keep remind me that i should double up my remembrance to HIM.

i feel FORTUNATE that i can experience to get  know what is "fail"  and hope in my heart. i can't know what is success means if i don't know failure.

i feel DIFFERENT on how i manage my emotion.

need to reschedule my daily routine. terima kasih pada amaran itu.

p/s: thank to the beautiful people for all the words. 
p/s/s:kekasih hati is so  great at being understanding. proud of him.
p/s/s: BFF ahlam!!! i miss you . i mean i miss you like crazy and your magical words too.

something to do with new FAKTA

assalamualaikum peeps.

 is beeenn sooo longg since my last post isn't.

let's play around with new facts.
here we go.


the higher your semester year, the lesser you sleep.

 or can we put this way

the long time you are in uni, the less time you are in bed.

p/s: i think i have grown up to the level where working up in the mid night is a NORM. 

istiqarah jom.

ditelan mati emak diluah mati bapak.

when there is the mess in terms of making a choice, ALLAH said turn to HIM, ask for HIS opinion. macam mana??? ISTIQARAH la jawab nya.

since i was born till now. i never did any decision without any guidance from my family neither my friends. never. it simple sebesar-besar keputusan hinggalah sekecil-kecil keputusan.

then, tadi as usual when there is a mess with making a decision... i'm back to emak and abah.  as usual again, them keep giving me a lead giving me a guidance but this time is difference. 

emak : angah dah besar kan. 21 tahun dah. emak dgn abah boleh bagi idea. but angah dah kene belajar buat keputusan sendiri. mana baik untuk angah. hidup angah. angah mesti tahu yang mana selesa, yang mana kurang. mak abah jauh. angah fikir elok-elok ye.

me: camne . angah tak tahu nie.

abah: angah bukan budak kecik lagi nak minta mak abah lead setiap keputusan hidup. angah. kami hanya boleh bagitahu arah yet angah kene buat keputusan. bukan maksud mak abah nak tinggal angah sorang-sorang tapi just you know well your life. berani terima risiko. abah mana nak tengok anak-anak susah kan. mak abah boleh guide. angah fikirlah. kalau angah pilih jalan yang bukan dari pilihan emak abah pun tapi kalau angah selesa dengan itu. well, go for it. live your life well angah.

me: abah., orang nak balik la minggu depan punye depan.

abah: bertuah punye anak.

p/s: saya nak menjerit kuat kuat " ALHAMDULLILAH"

hey HIKMAH i can see u.

ALHAMDULLILAH.

pending down this place for quite a period. pardon me.  sangat busy due to my limitless project,  program, meeting,kelab ect.. ect.. 

however, i fell blessed. i can fell the hikmah. for all the unsecured, scared and all the negative thought and feeling. hey, i dont bother you!
mungkin Allah nak bagi sign where the path and jalan yang dulu itu is not the best way for me to lead my uni life.even though i missing that only ONE. but ALLAH is so fair enough. HE make me loose one but HE pay me double!!!!!

lets count the blessing.

saya hilang satu kawan dalam kelas, tapi Allah kasi saya satu kelas kawan.
saya hilang satu tempat bergantung, tapi Allah kasi saya bertempat-tempat bergantung
saya hilang satu tempat tinggal, tapi Allah kasi saya satu, dua ,malah tiga tempat tinggal
saya hilang satu teman seperjuangan, tapi Allah kasi saya setaman teman perjuangan. 

alhamdulilah
i can see the hikmah. the hikmah spark on me. i got multiple of friends. with a multiple of way of friends. bilamana saya rasa gundah, saya tahu nak cari siapa, bilamana saya homesick saya tahu panggil siapa azankan, bilamana saya takot, sedih, huru hara saya tahu dengan siapa saya perlu tido, bilamana saya lapar saya tahu dapur mana saya pergi, bilamana saya mahu ketawa saya tahu mereka ada, bilamana saya mahu update diri, saya pasti saya tahu arah saya, bilamana saya rasa sayang, saya tahu dia, mereka, kamu ada dengan saya..

ALHAMDULILAH ,again for the blessing.

kawan-kawan can i count on you for anything, can i spread my love to you.

P/S:  kak lia, ifa, nisya, pei sze, adah, shira, wantian, sheng hong, jiawen, kak yat, kak yati abg ayien, kak b, kak cik su, kak ida, kak fiza, che ku, shida and the resttttttt.  TYVM.

p/s : hope there's some day we can bump each other and say HAI.

pain in silent.

im afraid to talk to anyone, i doesn't want to look weak, i dont want to be assumed to be over manja or what so ever, i really dont want my parents to worry all day long just because of my tears and hardships. i want to look healthy, i want to look brave and bubbly  i really want  my parent laugh happily when we're on call.

i'm afraid. my thoughts ran wild. i do have flaws. i means flawssssss. 

im totally freak, a girl with a jelly heart and super ridiculous thought of all the time. come with medium level of brilliance who are always careless in exam hall. i cry more than newborn baby. my HOMESICKNESS is my major weakness.  i don't know how to protect myself from fall into a trap, totally loser at socializing. i'm fail to make friends with my own race. shame on me!

i told my self frequently, so harsh! so harsh! I NEED TO BE STRONG. BE STRONG.  since there is noone to reply me, This is where i stand. miserable me. 

reminded myself, i am bless, i am lucky enough. im not diagnosed on anything serious( except for my serious homesickness). im lucky to have my dad and mum as my parents. both of them never complaint even a sec about me and my homesickness. then keep on motivate me, keep on treat me, keep on heal me. YA ALLAH, betapa bertuahnya saya.

mampukah bapa-bapa yang lain drive sejauh johor-penang every week just to ensure his baby girl can have a batter life. mampukah bapa-bapa lain muncul keesokan harinya selapas mendengar tangisan si anak apabila si anak perlukan physical support darinya even perjalanan nya sejauh penang-johor. mampukah emak-emak lain mengupdate si anak setiap hari without fail even anak nya sudah berumur 21 tahun. mampukah emak-emak lain menyediakan stock makanan bagi si anak sebanyak mungkin ketika berada jauh, mampukan emak-emak lain tidak merungut walupun sekali setiap kali si anak menghadapi masalah HOMESICK nya yang berlarutan selama hampir 4 tahun.  saya bukan dari keluarga yang kaya dengan wang ringgit. tapi saya rasa sangat bahagia apabila keluarga saya sangat kaya dengan kasih sayang.

 I had a hard life, but my hardships are nothing against the hardship that my abah and emak went through in order to get me to where i started. i must remember this always. as i try to think positively over the pain. So this is nothing. i still can count my blessing. This is just a temporary pain that can be heal! insyaAllah. DIA hanya menguji saya.

 

p/s: abah datang lagi after one week just to keep motivate me. to let me have a batter life here in uthm.

ilovebothofyou. abahemak.

 

same old shit

i wish i can ease this feeling.
i wish something miracle may come and rescue me this moment.
i wish i can simply blow all the obstacle
i wish no more tears for tomorrow
i wish the heart will beat a lil bit slower.
i wish i can be stronger than before.
i really need some motivation. come and motivate me people.

a very bad kickstart of new semester. tell me this is just a while.
Breathe,
im such a big girl,
I can handle my own things,



p/s : syukur, masih dapat ehsan dari mereka-mereka yang baik hati.

im back. FOR REAL

i'm back in parit raja land.
can't believe this were actually real.

what this new semester is all about?
not giving a shit, being strong, drama free, homesick no more,  housemates, goal.
cakap senang, eh tulis senang. but im hoping for real =)



p/s :  thanks to ifanita and kak lia for let me merempat.

THANK YOU 4 MONTH BREAK.

what a great holiday! i think i am sacrificed with this pass 4 month. i really had so much fun. i learned a lot of new things. i meet variety of people. i get chances to experienced  a lot of new stuff and the best part is i'm capable to earned money and spend without guilty. hee

mari kita buat 4 month old break checklist.

earned money.
working in the office.
Secretary
engineer
how to make delicious sambal belacan macam emak punya.
done with my 7 type of kuih raya.
meet most of my good friends.
driving
site visit
get involve with board of meeting
done with beberapa juzuk.
baking
ETS with along.
makan sana sini.
putrajaya visit.
survey camp.
ramadhan with whole family.
dating
shooping.
eid mubarak.

so much of 4 month. i am so bless, grateful and lucky. TERIMA KASIH ALLAH. 

4 month of..

all the eating drinking all the fiesta all the hard work all the experience all the going out till late night with your friends all the fun with family all the excitement all the noise all the fireworks all the money spend without the guilty.

its good to be HOME. i mean it's sooooo good to be home.

what's waiting you next.
all the classes all the me alone world all the tears all the missing part all the homesick all the books and calculator all the .. ok enough zuraini.  smack me hard this time.!  =(

p/s : xpe2, kalau ikut jam masih banyak masa lagi.     

DEAR Mr. Max Cheah

I nearly got myself in trouble!

shit!
SHIT....

I was supposed to send this email to the client and being very formal, it's supposed to start with 'Dear Mr Max Cheah'.

I typed until the end and attached the necessary files and was about to click send...

Until I re-read and saw this...


Dead Mr Max Cheah,


Haha... I nearly pissed off the client. GReat?!


btw, officially announce that i'm free from EESB. so, needa back to my parit. PARIT RAJA. 


P/S: countdown buat kekasih hati. selamat mengejar bola di padang.

for self and you.

been long since i last updated,

curious bout what i was up too?

WORKLOADS. workloads. RAMADHAN FULFILL. RAYA preparation. text-ing HIM =)

so much of routine till i can't even bother how time flies. fuhh sangat cepat bukan.

anywaysss. mari kita habiskan penghujung Ramadhan ini dengan perkongsian mengenai HATI.

"Di dalam tubuh manusia terdapat segumpal daging, apabila ia baik, maka baik pulalah semua perilakunya. Dan apabila ia buruk, maka buruk pulalah seluruh perilakunya. Dan ia adalah Hati.”



HASAD. RIAK . UJUB.

semua di atas adalah punca segala penyakit hati.Boleh juga dikira sebagai syirik kerana hanya diri sendiri yang boleh tahu kepada siapa dia beribadah untuk.

hasad: as simple as envy. when you tends to have this feeling upon people. tak kira lah atas kejayaan dia, kekayaan dia.atau kecantikan dia. if you envy at someone then you put an extra effort to be successful as him/her then is not as characterized as hasad. tapi if you envy someone but try to ruin her/his successful. haa that's we called has hasad. ALHAMDULILAH I think till now i only practice the positive hasad.

RIAK: we do something to get others attention. as simple as ber-fashion. GULP.! its keep me wondering till now. if we follow trend in fashion like dress to kill, will that consider as riak?   because we might want to get people attention on how we wear on how we look and ect.. honestly, terkesima sebentar. err

UJUB: ini kes yang makan dalam. means, type of people who always put up praise to self.  like we do something for our satisfaction and mula bragging them inside ourself. ala-ala macam engkau score dalam exam and dapat dean list every sem. then inside down you start to have this kinda thought that you're very smart ass. mungkin kita boleh cakap. just wanna rewards diri sendiri. kata-kata perangsang bagi diri sendiri after all the sweat. but by saying this , we might forget that all the rezeki and nikmat itu adalah datang dari DIA. hanya DIA, kalau engkau bersusah payah study macam mana pun sampai muntah darah, terkangkang-kangkang, terjelepuk jatuh, bergelen coffee engkau consume tapi kalau DIA cakap bukan rezeki engkau. at last bukan rezeki engkau juga. kun fa ya kun.  this is the hardest part to be true.because we sometimes have a different thought of our self in mind.
contoh: macam apa yang mungkin saya buat bila berada di JOHOR. waa bagus diri sendiri neh dah sehari satu malam tak kol mak abah. kuat semangat betul diri sendiri. ngeh3


HIDUP DENGAN BERSANGKA BAIK.

well, kadang-kadang we easily put a conclusion or more like assumption to people we like. we might miss out something that we does not know.
                                                      zikrullah,selawat,istigfar.
when all the negative thought come in mind. cepat-cepat kita halau dengan ini. sedarlah, mereka juga ada kebaikan yang mungkin kita tak ada.

mari kita recheck dengan contoh ini.

sepertinya, dia bukan hijab sistah. free hair orang cakap. rambut punya la stylo berwarna-warna tapi engkau ni bertudung litup. but who knows dia sangat menjaga waktu solat dia yang mempunyai budi perkerti yang baik. so, adakah kita juga begitu? jika ya. ALAHAMDULILLAH.

Contoh lain, orang tu suka cerita setiap perkara yang dilakukannya. Tapi dia  tidak berniat untuk menunjuk- nunjuk. hanya bercerita untuk pedoman atau dicontohi oleh orang lain dan engkau pula lebih down to earth. takut menceritakan pada orang kerana dikhuatiri berlaku riak. TAPI, orang tu sentiasa buat baik kepada orang yang memerlukan, ikhlas menolong, sentiasa ada buat mereka yang memerlukan tempat untuk bercerita.engkau pulak sentiasa bersendiri.  tak nak bercampur orang dan lain-lain.

There's still a different bukan.  dia dan engkau itu.  boleh jadi dia dijanjikan syurga tapi engkau dengan hanya berperangsangka buruk itu terlepas sudah peluang syurga. jadi kawan-kawan dan zuraini sayang sentiasalah HUSNUZON kepada semua orang kerana dapat membentuk peribadi mulia.

actually, i came across about this from my readings, about HATI, penyucian HATI, and all those mengenai HATI. and i thought about it a lot. i mean alot. i am not the best or the good ones here just want to share something that we may not realize this before. hope i did share something useful here.

p/s: done with 3 types of kuih raya. more is coming.
p/s/s: kekasih hati sangat hebat. tahniah sebab terpilih mewakili kontijen IPD Kuala Lumpur.



.

hey, 16 hari!

bila hari-hari kau bangun and first things come to mind  adalah work loads.
bila hari-hari when you are in the bathroom and the things  linger in your mind adalah work loads.
bila hari-hari sebelum kau pejam mata minda menjadi sangat productive sebab fikirkan work loads.
bila hari-hari kau tahu hidup kau jadi sangat reality sebab workload
bila hari-hari jantung kau dup dap berkala rate lebih cepat dari biasa sebab  mengejar dateline workload.
Ini semua akan berakhir dalam masa 16 hari. =)

berbekalkan pengalaman yang satu ini, i guess i can picture myself in the future. How me in the meeting board, how me dealing with the client, how me facing all sort of problem, how me urgently need to decide over something ( lies is a pretty reason to be a saver. pls take note!).

p/s : saya berjanji saya akan lebih menghargai masa berlajar saya di parit raja.  hehehe

cuba untuk mengerti.

after had my long and sweet late night conversation with my bff. i can come out with this.

setiap manusia lain perangai, lain pe'el. so, penerimaan mereka mungkin berbeza dari kita. 

sebab itu lah kadang-kadang kita perlu apply kan konsep give and take dalam kehidupan.

....................................................................................................................................................................

 kadang-kadang over think upon something might just kill.  perkara simple, remeh temeh difikir berulang-ulang mampu membuat kita rasa diri kita loser, kita hopeless. akhirnya, merundumlah self esteem kita. bangun-bangun wahai diri. persetankan suara-suara negative itu. pedulikan mereka itu. bila tiba saat itu pasti mereka tahu sebab dan musibab.

Sometimes I wish I could just fast-forward through time to see if in the end it is all worth it.

* saya takot jadi orang yang munafik. Asstafirullahallazim.

moderate is victory.

i get easily effected by emotionally. i get easily touched of little tinny things, i get easily hurt by harsh words.

so, does it occupied . owh, maybe it can consider as the weaknesses.

sometimes, i think i need to put some distance between me and them. 

betul cakap mak. moderate is victory.
kalau bercinta, kena berpada.
kalau berkawan, kena berpada.
kalau simpati, kena berpada.
kalau menolong, kena berpada.
kalau marah, kena berpada.
kalau sedih, kena berpada.
kalau shopping, lagi lagi kena berpada.

* tiba-tiba jadi emo freak sebab rasa diri terover sudah. ok fine. just wait 2-3 years kalau ada jodoh adalah. kalau tak ada, lebih baik menanti mungkin. boleh upgrade title sekali. kakak! ok sorry ini sangat Lame.

surat untuk adik wahida. surat untuk adik faiz.

lately, dikala busy mengejar dateline-dateline hidup. banyak berita kesedihan disogok. INNALILAH.  saya hanya mampu menggunakan senjata doa untuk membantu. ketahuilah adik-adik bahawa kakakmu ini sedaya mungkin mahu menolong tapi apakan daya.


sokongan, kata-kata semangat yang keluar dari hati ini saja yang mampu kakakmu beri.
my dear adik,
 adik boleh jerit sekuat hati, adik boleh deny sekukuh mungkin. it just because that was not me who sit on the wheel chair, it's not me who laid on the bed, it's not me who being force to take all those medicine, it's not me who cry hard,it's not me whom LOST the ability,  it's not me who face the suffer dan it;s not me who bear to the every endless pain. tapi wahai adik-adik, percayalah ada hikmah disebalik yang terjadi. tolong la percaya pada janji ALLAH ini.

adik, You can shout out load mencari dimana hikmah itu, you can groan that hard untuk melihat hikmah itu. tapi tolonglah percaya pada janji ALLAH. dimana setiap keadaan sama ada baik atau  buruk pasti ada terselit hikmat yang kadang-kadang ALLAH sembunyi akan hikmah itu. bersangka baik lah pada ALLAH. redha dengan setiap dugaan yang diberi. Mungkin ALLAH tahu adik-adik akak ini mampu menanggung beban itu, kerana itulah DIA hadiahkan sedikit dugaan buat kalian.  tidak terbayang dek akal kalau akak lah berada di tempat kalian. masyaAllah, tempias beritanya sudah mampu buat akak jatuh tersungkur, membuat resevoir air mata pecah berkecai, mana mungkin Allah mahu hadiahkan dugaan sebesar itu kepada akak. Jadi adik akak, bersyukur lah kalian . ALLAH mahu dekatkan kamu setapak dengan NYA. redha wahai adik-adik akak.


p/s= wahida. this little girl who i adore her fearless, who i used to be my bench mark setiap kali penyakit mengada menyerang HOMESICK. saya pinjamkan semangat beliau untuk dijadikan alasan untuk tidak pulang. wahida,yang selalu saya sebut-sebutkan dikala bersama kekasih hati kerana jeles dengan ketahanan lasak nya. yang selalu saya agungkan kerana kelantangannya bersuara,. well, di saat ini, beliau menerima dugaan yang berat bagi saya. tetapi disebabkan ketahanan, ketabahan, kekuatan beliau, beliau mampu harungi  tanpa keluarga disisi. ketahuilah wahai adik, jikalau akak di tempat kamu, merengek, merintih, mengada, meraung menjadi teman sejati akak. akak tidak sekuat kamu.so, yakin la dgn diri sendiri, dugaan ini adalah terbaik buat adik kerana ada something good await you there!!! keep on strong my bebeh... this girl had gone into a small excident  and need to depend on wheel chair for at least 3 month.

p/s/s= FAIZ. budak ini sangat rajin. sangat rajin. i adore him as well. he got all the good attitude. dia rajin, rajin dan rajin bekerja. he only 18years old. tetapi perangai dan lagaknya sangat matang. sometime, akak pun confused faiz adik or akak ni yang mengada jadi adik.. haha.  BUT now, sebut saja nama FAIZ, my eye start teary. akak speechless. how should i put into a word. tabah la wahai adik, sekali lagi yakinlah dengan janji ALLAH yang maha satu itu. ada hikmah menunggu adik. if akak boleh buat ini, akak akan peluk adik sekuat hati, akan akak salurkan segala kekuatan akak kepada adik. if and only akak boleh kabulkan segala permintaan adik, all i will grant for you adik.  tapi akak tak mampu buat semua ini. all that i can do is, keep on praying. pray for your well. i love you adik! semogo hari-hari mendatang bakal ditempuhi dengan tabah..,  this boy lost his capability to walk as both his leg is taken off from his body. masyaalah. kaki nya hancur dihempap silo 14 tan semasa bekerja.


MARI SAMA-SAMA KITA DOA KAN MEREKA AGAR KEKUATAN SENTISA BERSAMA MEREKA. AMIN.
* lap2 air mata

find me love

after the thunder,  finding my sunshine is the mission.
capital of Malaysia is waiting me.
PUTRAJAYA here i'am.

ETS train from ipoh. kl central arrived me.
so, the healing section started.
terima kasih pada the sunshine kerana memancarkan sinar-sinar uv bahagia itu.
traffic jam, black waja, putrajaya tour, chicken rise, the CATs', subway, the conversation, the memories all will be keep in another page of our stories....

p/s :selamat hari lahir. setiap tahun wish saya same je kat awak. i guess tak payah re-type kot.. =) clik sini.untuk awak.!

 

Forecast says there won't be so much sunshine today. heay rain maybe.

I have a lot in my mind. till i can't put all of that in words without hurting someone.

so, i get the conclusion through this... click here!

p/s: saya sudah mendaftar. anda?

cuba kekal tegar.

sekuat jeritan mana pun suara, sedetail mana pun fakta, sedalam mana pun pemahaman, mereka-mereka mungkin tidak mampu faham. it's just because they are not in my shoes. 


kata-kata si kawan ini benar belaka. setelah saya digest sampai ke lubuk hati saya sedar akan kesilapan yang satu ini. mungkin banyak kesilapan disitu. walaupun masih terdapat keraguan sana sini. saya patut sedar, apa yang saya lalui, apa yang saya perolehi adalah terbaik buat saya. BERSYUKUR is the key. terima kasih kepasa si kawan yang memberi wake up call.  

anyway, cakap dimulut memang senang. ayuh mulakan dengan tindakan. 

it can't get anymore funnier.

what has happened or should i say happening to me then and now is so very funny that i could not jot down any cause it were so complicated.

thank you  for doing that to me
thank you  for treating me that way
thank you  for the heart breaking
thank you for the harsh words.
thank you for the friendship-to-be- end
thank you for EVERYTHING.
AND
thanks to your  **** for making it realistic


you never thought of this could happen to you. but yes it happening and AGAIN.

I need to be really careful. So very easy to fall into traps like this.

Anyhow, alhamdulillah.

I might just be wrong. Still, I am not going to take any risk.

 Allah knows best!

"....Ya Allah, andai kau datangkan mereka ini sebagai ujian buat ku, maka berikanlah aku kekuatan & kesabaran untuk menghadapinya. Ampunkan dosa hambaMu andai ujian ini sebagai memo peringatan akan kelalaian diriku pada Mu. Selamatkanlah aku dari fitnah & tipudaya manusia, serta hawa nafsu dan godaan syaitan yang direjam...

 

P/S:  beribu berjuta kali maaf pun ia tetap tak akan ubah apa-apa. mungkin.

stop trying to please everyone. get your own way please!

can i skip the whole thing??

life getting miserable tougher. we need to be realistic in life. we just can't please everyone. saya manusia lemah yang ada batas dalam setiap perlakuan.saya faham itu. but it's not a wrong doings when we were trying to make something batter for others. not seeking for attention or a sympathy  but just wanna have a warm relationship. after all had happen, maybe i can come out with it. it's just my thought somehow.  --->

If you’re trying to live up to all the expectations that crowd in on you from parents, friends, and society at large .you’ll end up feeling miserable because you’re not living the life you want to, and you’ll inevitably not manage to meet all the competing demands.

no one else in this world knows what goes on in your head.you can't lift a flap and peek or fit inside their skull  either. so, zuraini sayang boleh tak awak berpijak di bumi yang nyata sekarang.

p/s:  i'm totaly a great LOSER when come to mari menari berkawan sana sini bersama org melayu. SIGH!

ABAH balik arini YEAY!!!!

yesterday was fun. dating with all the girlfriends really bring out my day. we have the come-back- to -school trip, meeting with the teachers, updating current doings, siam express for lunch and lastly the transformers.

at school
* dari jauh, sambil melambai-lambai*

pn cheok: nor zuraini zulkifle.
me: OMGGGGG!!!
pn cheok : your expression seem so shock.. why?
me:  super glad you remembered my full name..
pn cheok:  . you're the tudung girls hangs with the non tudungs. so, i hardly can remembered you zuraini. and look till today you're still the same.
me: LOL's.

 

everything seemed so simple when i was younger.

 life?
sederhana. tapi sempurna. ALHAMDULILAH.



namun. saat hidup bahagia seadanya dengan keserderhanaan ini. tiba-tiba hati terasa diuji. Mungkin menjengah sebagai amaran atau peringatan di hari muka. LIFE. percaturan hidup ini hanya boleh dikawal arah tujunya tapi tidak sesekali mampu untuk kita melawan destiny-nya.

saya dan kehidupan saya, seringkali diuji.but, i am strongly believe in life cycle.  sometimes you will be on the top of the world and sometimes you will experience to be the looser.  tiap kali diuji saya akan sumbat kan kata-kata ini ke telinga, saya akan kepilkan kata-kata ini di hati, saya akan tatapkan kata-kata ini di mata. dimana. hikmah itu ada pada setiap apa yang berlaku.
dengan harapan semoga otak dan hati will always be synchronize. berirama seiring senada.  sejujurnya sakit kali ini tidak setajam dulu, mungkin saya sudah menyangka ini akan berlaku. salah siapa. tunjuk jari itu ke dia, empat jari balik ke diri.  serve you right!

saya  tidak pernah mengimpikan hidup yang sekarang. But at the end of the day, as I fall in love (if love has ANYTHING TO DO with this lah cuz i rasa macam 'ya'), I suddenly see life in different perspective now. Brighter than ever. Alhamdulillah. Don't mind the hurt, because all that I want is the state of bliss that comes with it.

saya dan kisah hati juga diuji. Bila terasa ingin mengalah, saya fikir, saya akan jadi lebih terluka melepaskan sesuatu yang sekian lama. Sesuatu yang mampu buat sebahagia ini - satu jenis bahagia yang sendiri tidak pernah bayangkan. I won't ever let go even if it hurts a thousand times more. The kind of feeling I wish words can really explain. Dan saya bukan spesis orang yang tegar menyumpah seranah begitu sahaja. pour a sympathy towards something is one of my weaknesses.  

YOU need to be selfish to live and love happily. Unless YOU choose not to be happy :)

How everything seemed so simple when I was younger. But this is also a sign how much now I'm a grown up

mari cari persamaan. *MATA*

waktu dan masa pun berlalu

ok, let's talk about one fact of LIFE.
 NO MATTER WHAT HAPPEN, LIFE GOES ON.

have you ever cross that statement?? that was my philosophy, my mantera, my motto dan kata-kata semangat saya..
setiap kali kawan saya atau saya sendirilah jatuh tersembam ke bumi, sakit parah terguris hati, saya selalu suapkan kata di atas kepada mereka-mereka ini.selalu saya katakan, di mana this tough time will pass by, you have to accept what has be written to you. terima dengan redha. for this time being  there is the only way we can do..we need to just live the life. teruskan hidup.

what else we can do??? you can't stop the time while you are trying to figure out the solution, you can't pause the time while you are trying to fix up the prob, you can't fast forward the time so that you can skip the part yang you dislike so that you can life happily ever after and you can't rewind you life and redo the things that happened to make it batter. IMPOSSIBLE. kerana biar apa pun yang terjadi, bumi sentiasa akan berputar, berputar pada paksinya. manusia sekeliling terus dengan agendanya, matahari masih memancar sinar uv nya, bulan masih akan timbul di kala malam.

biarlah earth quake melanda NZ
biarlah hazama menang 200 ribu
biarlah BERSIH melanda bumi malaysia
biarlah Kenny dihentam MPSP&MPPP

all the list above wont give a pause to time. not even a sec pause. Jadi wahai kamu, saya dan semua mari move forward. mula langkah pertama dengan niat..leave all the shit behind, try heal the wound, keep moving and moving till the the end.

ATI looked messy sebab tengah buat pilihan. nak ikut kakngah balik umah ke tak???

twenty one

salam
new entry after entitle myself a 21 old young ladies.

ALHAMDULILAH. safely home after 1 week bercamping di teluk ramunia. GREAT MEMORIES, GREAT PLACE, GREAT EXPERIENCE. enjoyably moment! =)
 
kali ini saya mahu berbicara perihal PILIHAN ITU.
life is about making a decision. Starting when you want to pick your outfit in the morning, di office pula what task should you fulfill first and pilihan itu terus menerus menghimpit sampai sebelum mata tertutup, surah apa nak baca malam ini. These tiny choices becoming your daily routine betul. setiap hari mesti tanya diri dulu apa nak pilih.
sometimes, we make the pilihan itu nampak susah.. padahal ianya mudah saja. ibarat what number should i dial to ring kekasih hati? 013 or 019? infact you just know, whenever or whichever num yang you dial pasti akan dipick up oleh kekasih hati.So, pilihan itu perlu kah. silly.silly.

tetapi kadang kala pilihan itu amat besar. a huge one. sampai otak, hati,serta pelbagai organ lain perlu diguna pakai untuk membuat pilihan itu agar the chosen one adalah sebaik-baik pilihan dan mampu menidakan apa-apa jua kecelakaan di kemudian hari.

ISTIQARAH mereka kata.  tetapi  malam masih muda. the journey is still loooggg way to go.. i have much to fulfill, i got a lot to tune in, i want to run for everything and i need to patten out the future..  so, can i hold that for this moment. i guarantee when the right time come i assure istiqarah will definitely in my list. but for now, i am not ready. *beb, you know who you are and  if u tend to find out this please advise me for this.

so for now just stick to the one.the one yang selalu tanpa henti memberi peringatan juga ancaman. ancaman manja katakan.
 
TAPI, pilihan untuk menyertai BERSIH adalah satu pilihan bodoh. The most silly decision ever exist. stay away from yellow color.  !!!!!!!! 


 

AHLAM BAJUNAID

She's been by my side since we were in high school.  We've been through think and thin, good and bad, some tears and TONS of laughter.  She's there when I need her without question, she's honest and loving.  She's my role model when it comes to relationships, friendship dan juga kehidupan. saya banyak belajar dari dia.
She's my best friend and you have NO idea how much she means to me.

she is AHLAM BAJUNAID. I first meet her back in 2006. was in upper from that time. we are classmates. She is so pretty and caught many attention from others plus she got all the package tho. cantik, sweet, kind and she is sooo adorable. ramai menyukai kehadiran dia ketika itu. so, we started to become close as we are the only mates that can speak and listen well in bm. i mean with the typical bm dialect. menghitung hari persahabatan yang terjalin ini semakin utuh. we're comfy to share everything,  we share all the dirty secrets, share all the torns, the hurt and everything. even we can talk on the phone for a whole night. 

Dia antara orang yang pertama muncul ketika hati bergocak pilu. Dia sanggup menongkat mata, sabar melayan dikala saya mahu melepas duka. Dia juga kerap kali memberi kata-kata magic ketika diri merasa hina. dikala hati dan perasaan dilanda sakit, dia hadir membawa ubat mujarab. Terima kasih yang tidak terhingga.

TIME FLIES.We've all grown up and are big girls now.We are into the 6th year of our BFF-friendship, and I'm very proud of it.Come to think of it, we've never quarrel before and I suppose we never will.
 

ahlam,
It takes two hands to clap,
and this friendship of ours would never have come this far
if it's not for you holding on at the other end of the rope.
I could not have done it alone myself,
and I thank you for helping to keep this BFF-friendship of ours going.

The friendship between besties ain't a big thing, it's a million little things.
Thank you for being my best friend, and I thank God for blessing me with a BFF like you.
I know it's very very old-school to say this, but I'm still gonna say it to you,
"BEST FRIENDS FOREVERRRR & I LOVE YOU!"

well, you're 21 years old ladies this years. happy birthday ahlam. no big preesie for you this year. maybe can consider after you come home kan. =)

p/s= my eyes teary when i want to type this for you. 

you're sorry.

have you ever felt regret upon something or have you ever felt like going back.???? as if you could go back at one point on my life. where you wish you had act in another way. or if you could never make some decision that might change your life upside down. or you never did, what you ever did. because you knew that what you have done is wrong. Since you have that feeling in your heart. the voice inside your head keep telling you that you need to fix things and make everything okay. but, practically you don't know how...

I'm pretty sure that most of us have cross this feeling kan. simply because kita kan manusia. an it's  natural for manusia untuk melakukan kesalahan. we are full of imperfection. but.but  we need to figure out on how to handle on those imperfection and make things batter. only ALLAH lies perfection. 
may there is always way back, whenever we do err, whenever we do wrong and mistake, whenever we slight from the rightness path. AMIN.

P/S : so, you're sorry. mari kita berusaha ke arah itu. itu mimpi kita yang satu.

heartbroken soul.

did you realize?  1 year back in time.  of the same month. and today you put the memory back in my mind. thanks for the reminder. you remind me of that torn. I'm already torn. i guess u will never find the missing pieces.  thank you for the perfect sky.
........................................ breath in , breath out ....................................................................................

dimana rasional itu. kemana dia menghilang. Don't u ever pull that trigger.  that trigger that might kill. deeply kill you inside. ketuk-ketuk tangan yang menekan butang send, hentak-hentak kepala yang tidak berapa rasional, penyek-penyek hati yang cuba berperangsaka.

p/s : atas keterlanjuran itu, maafkan saya.

dari lubuk hati yang paling dalam.

sudah ku katakan berkali-kali kepadanya, tetapi tidak berkesan. Nasihatku entah kemana perginya, mungkin dicarik-carik atau ditonyoh-tonyoh ke lubang singki.
 Kata-kata ku benar belaka.

Bahawa sesungguhnya peperiksaan dunia dan keputusannya bukan matlamat hidup yang paling utama. Maka, tak usahlah kau berasa sangat gusar berbanding gusarnya engkau terhadap memikirkan tentang dateline hidup ataupun kematian. Mati itu sangat pasti. peperiksaan, keputusan, kejayaan, kerjaya , semuanya kabur. 

mari kita ambil pedoman dari kisah ini.

Terdapat dua orang nelayan. Seorang penyembah berhala, dan seorang lagi muslim yang taat kepada ALLAH. Ketika menebar jala, yang menyembah berhala menyebut nama berhalanya, manakala yang muslim membaca bismillah. Bila jala diangkat, yang menyembah berhala mendapat banyak ikan, manakala yang muslim, hampir sahaja tiada ikan untuknya pada hari itu.

Malaikat yang melihat keadaan itu bertanya kepada ALLAH.
“ Ya ALLAH, apakah yang telah berlaku? HambaMu yang menyekutukanMu, KAU berikan dia rezeki yang banyak, sedangkan hambaMu yang menyebut namaMu, KAU tidak memberikan DIA apa-apa”

ALLAH menjawab,
“ Yang menyekutukanKu, tempatnya memang sudah pasti NERAKA. Maka apalah sangat rezeki yang pasti akan hancur itu jika Kuberikan kepadaNya? Tetapi HambaKu yang beriman itu, AKU hendak mengganjarkanNya syurga, maka AKU suka mengujinya untuk melihat kebenaran imanNya”

Nah, jangan anda kecewa bila diuji, tidak berjaya di dalam peperiksaan walau sudah studi, gagal dalam perniagaan walau kemas menyusun strategi. Itu semua adalah sebahagian dari ujian ALLAH. ALLAH menguji hanya untuk mereka yang dikasihi. Bukankah ALLAH SWT ada berfirman,

“ Apakah kamu mengira KAMI akan membiarkan kamu berkata kami beriman sedangkan kamu belum diuji?…”

Jika gagal terhadap satu-satu perkara, itu perkara itu. Anda masih belum gagal dalam kehidupan. Teruskan usaha, selagi nyawa masih ada. InsyaALLAH ALLAH akan memberikan sesuatu yang bermakna kepada anda. Bersangka baiklah kita kepada PENCIPTA kita.

Maka sebenarnya, bila hidup kita digegarkan dengan masalah, hendaklah kita rasa bersyukur. Tandanya, ALLAH masih lagi dekat dengan kita. Ujian adalah tanda kasih sayang dan perhatianNya kepada kita.

Mustahil anda suka senang sebentar di dunia, di akhirat yang kekal abadi nanti anda merana. Anda mahukan istidraj?

Saya yakin tidak..

Anda tenang sekarang?

Anda wajib untuk tidak berasa tenang jika anda berbuat dosa, dan anda berjaya. Sebab itulah, muhasabah diri itu penting. Untuk kita sentiasa periksa bagaimanakah hubungan kita dengan ALLAH SWT.

Aku berdosa, tetapi aku berjaya…. Berhati-hatilah kita agar jangan sampai lafaz itu, atau lafaz-lafaz yang membawa maksud serupa itu terkeluar dari mulut kita.

 

  JADI hentikanlah sawan di situ, dihatimu dan juga anggota badan yang lain jika peperiksaan dan keputusan lebih menggetarmu.


Ya Allah, janganlah kau jadikan kami lebih takut kepada dunia dan isinya melebihi dari takutnya kami akan Engkau dan nerakamu. Janganlah kau jadikan kami lebih mengharapkan Honours dan kelulusan dalam peperiksaan berbanding syurga dan segala isinya.

Dan sekali lagi aku berpesan kepada hati dan segenap badanku, takutlah akan Allah sahaja, kerana bertemu Dia adalah satu kepastian yang tidak ada keraguan sedikit pun.

i don't understant too.

upon discovering that the closet in my bedroom are full of clothes.

abah's voice :  i don't understand why girls need a lot of clothes

we feel nothing is wrong when purchasing, we ask the same question when we discover there is lack of space when we want to keep all of them in the closet.

why do I buy this. why. why . why....

i'm not scared

insecure.

perasaan ini menghantui.
i began to have a doubt towards the future. our future indeed.
you seem can't get into this flow.
maybe can let time be the indicator.
masa bagi kamu dan saya.
kamu memahami.  saya meng-adjust
all this while. tolerate tighten up our relation.
hope this will last long.

KIDS.

have u ever thought of having babies???  like seriously.. does it ever came cross in your mind??? how often?? once?? twice?? all the time??? none?? ok, mari kita elaborate about this.. i love this adorable creatures so much. i love the smell, the voice, the act.. it's about everything. i don't mind spend my all day long with them, playing around with them, feed them, little nap with them, take a bath with them and ect.. i don't know why i freaking like kids them much.

having my own babies is one of my dreams. have u ever thought, after getting married, success in your own profession but NO KIDS! its overwhelming sadness and devastating..for me. but i don't know about others.

i thought about this even back in high school. i want to have as soon as i am ready. but of course with well management plan, excellent stable financial and the most important is solid bond in marriage. i want my future family live in a best environment with super extra comfort. ok, i know this age of mine talk about having kids is like belajar-pun-tak-abis-ada-hati-nak-tambah-generation.  but who cares anyway. my body,my family, my life kan.

So let's pray so that everyone will find their true love, get married, have kids and enjoy life to the fullest.

ifanita!

Assalamualaikum people!
i know, I'm pending this page down quite some time.

I can't believe life gets so busy , I just need to find time to get myself some excitement. Movie mania or window shopping or just a morning jog maybe.

Work has been pretty much stressful :( Overexhausted truly, my shoulders hurt so much. Its not easy yaw nak jadi secretary.  been staring the screen all the time, typing non stop, squeezing my brain to work extra, running here and there, coffee lady, dealing with all sort of people .. ohh, i think i love numbers more this time and i hate words. But, the hardworks suit the payment tho. hujung bulan boleh senyum ke telinga!

we can change the world. I shared this quote with one of my close friend in uni. And today, she invited me to have a look on her blog. my eye start to water. ALHAMDULILAH. she manage to overcome all the obstacle. Proud of her.   mari baca ini ifanita!

my boyfriend is NOT a engineering student!!

This is a complimentary article that i bump into over this one mamat punya blog which i find it pretty "esteem boosting" for male engineering student population out there. saya juga pelajar engineering ye but obviously saya female. heee  this is the article --->

Mengapa anda kaum perempuan perlu berkahwin dengan seorang Jurutera@Engineer berbanding graduan dari bidang Undang-Undang, Pentadbiran, Seni atau Perubatan?Disini terdapat 3 fakta kukuh yang menyokong pernyataan tersebut.

AMARAN: Artikel ini bakal mengubah pendirian hidup anda dalam sekelip mata dan sekaligus akan menyebabkan anda berfikir 50 kali untuk mencari pasangan hidup yang ideal.Selain itu, artikel ini juga bakal mengundang rasa tidak puas hati dan marah dalam diri anda.Hanya orang yang betul-betul berani sahaja digalakkan membaca artikel ini.Teruskan membaca artikel ini untuk mengetahui kelebihan menjadikan seorang Engineer sebagai pasangan hidup anda.

 Mengapa anda kaum perempuan perlu berkahwin dengan seorang Jurutera@Engineer berbanding graduan dari bidang Undang-Undang, Pentadbiran, Seni atau Perubatan?Disini terdapat 3 fakta kukuh yang menyokong pernyataan tersebut.

1-Kehidupan yang lebih terjamin

Seorang engineer bakal menyediakan kehidupan yang terjamin kepada anda.Pada umur 27 tahun, seorang jurutera mungkin sudah mempunyai pekerjaan yang terhormat, stabil dan mempunyai pendapatan yang tinggi untuk memiliki kereta , melabur, kehidupan yang selesa, berkahwin dan juga membeli sebuah rumah.

Manakala

-Lulusan undang-undang masih bekerja sebagai apprentice di firma-firma guaman

-Sebahagian lulusan pentadbiran baru sahaja gagal dalam rancangan perniagaan mereka yang pertama

-Lulusan seni masih mencari pekerjaan

-Lulusan sekolah perubatan masih menjadi doktor pelatih di hospital-hospital

2-Kegigihan yang tinggi

Seorang teman lelaki yang bergelar engineer akan memperuntukkan jumlah masa dan usaha yang tidak terjangkau banyaknya untuk memahami anda.Ini kerana seorang engineer sangat bekerja keras untuk memahami pekerjaan mereka.Semestinya mereka akan berusaha keras untuk memahami diri anda juga seperti memahami pekerjaan mereka jika mereka percaya anda-adalah satu-satunya insan yang istimewa dalam hidup mereka.Jika mereka tidak memahami diri anda pada mulanya, mereka akan terus berusaha.Jika mereka masih tidak faham, mereka akan mencari kaedah yang tepat untuk membuatkan anda gembira.Sebagai contoh (membeli cincin berlian=satu minggu kebahagian).Jika mereka telah menemui formula rahsia tersebut, mereka akan terus mengulanginya hingga menepati hasil yang dikehendaki.

Berbeza dengan

-peguam yang akan sentiasa berdebat dengan anda

-graduan pengurusan yang akan mengawal perbelanjaan anda

-graduan seni yang akan mengubah penampilan anda

-graduan perubatan yang akan menjadikan anda seperti nurse di hospital

Sangat mudah untuk engineer menjadikan anda satu-satunya insan yang mereka sayangi dalam hidup mereka umpama anda salah satu daripada projek mereka dan mereka akan tersangkut pada anda selamanya.

3-Seorang teman lelaki yang bergelar Engineer tidak akan mengkhianati kepercayaan ana

Buktinya

-para peguam mungkin akan berbohong kepada anda

-seorang graduan pentadbiran mungkin akan menipu wang anda

-seorang graduan seni adalah seorang penggoda

-seorang doktor mungkin hanya melihat anda seperti seorang mayat

Teman lelaki bergelar engineer terlalu sibuk untuk mempunyai hubungan istimewa lain dan jika ada, mereka akan terlalu bodoh untuk berbohong kepada anda.Oleh itu, seorang engineer ialah the most secure boyfriend yang anda pernah temui,cukup kaya dan akan tetap mencuba untuk memahami dan menyenangkan anda, tiada masa untuk mempunyai hubungan istimewa lain dan terlalu bodoh untuk berbohong.mereka juga sangat cool berbanding orang lain.

Hazwan:Artikel ini hanya gurauan semata-mata.tiada kena mengena antara yang hidup ataupun mati.Sape nak kahwin dengan aku?aku kan bakal engineer? :p

ok, what i wanna highlight here is.. my M is not a engineer. but i am totally proud having him as my partner.

best thing on having a boyfriend who is not from a engineering profession.

1.  i can talk crap on anything and he wouldn't even know the differences. he just nodded and pretend to impress  or amazed by the fact. CONTOHNYA, mechanics of material is all about dealing with mechanic. He can still eat up.

in fact, even when i told him that i need to enter bengkel or need to conduct a lab experiment pun dia boleh kagum.

2. saya boleh merapu meraban tanpa segan silu kalau pengetahuan saya on that something is not that great (yang ditokok tambah after 10 mins on wikipedia), dan dia akan still rasa saya hebat. i'm free to say anything without being annoyingly corrected every single time i opened my mouth and i don't have to undergo those moments where you want to tell some stupid stories but it changed into a debate because you mentioned some engineering fact or stuff or their relation.

3. saya boleh bercerita tentang betapa menderitanya during conducting amalan geomatik. berada  berejam-jam di bawah terik matahari sambil mengukur tanah untuk dijadikan tapak pembinaan . all the hardwork, the steps, how to handle the equipment, perasaan frust menongeng apabila ukuran bearing tidak closed-closed dan terpaksa stay lagi berapa jam untuk mengulang balik kesemua step.  

Ini sudah cukup buat  si dia kagum pada ladies seperti saya yang boleh bertahan a few hours dengan panas matahari dan berjaya meng-handle kesemua equipment engineering. cuba cerita benda begini pada boyfriend anda yang dimana seorang engineering  student.

"ala, no hal la.. masa I buat LI lagi teruk I berjemur...." you get what i mean???

3. yes, only eng. students know how tiresome and stressing it is to be a eng students. but in my case, i don't need him to understand. i only need him to be there when i need him. saya tak suka kalau saya dijudge atau dipandang rendah kalau saya dapat markah rendah. saya tak suka kalau diberi nasihat saintifik saying that i should do this or do that or use this book or use that book. like i know i will get if i have a boyfriend from a eng profession.
 sometimes all i need is a hard push and comfort words.
  

4. saya boleh berada di luar kepompong budaya engineering.  CONTOHNYA, my M was handling this one case. a very confidential case.  ala-ala macam rahsia negara la and saya still akan dapat tahu a step advance apabila si dia start sharing those rahsia negara with me. then esok pagi bukak kosmoonline saya boleh tersemyum lebar. =)

5. it doesn't matter to whom you are in love with. as long as you love him and he loves you back. dan asalkan si dia kerja yang halal. of course.

p/s: jadi terjawab la sudah persoalan anda-anda di luar sana yang care lagi prihatin dengan saya apabila soal pilihan hati disogok kan. make it simple, kalau Allah cakap si dia jodoh kita, mampu ke kita menidakkanya? 

p/s/s: sila buang salah faham itu awak.someone is far batter than me is deserve you more.  =( 
p/s/s/s: saya tidak bangga. sungguh. saya tidak bangga cakap saya ada bf.