no pain no gain

Assalamulaikum.

A few days ago while I woke up for sahur, I've received one text massage from my murobbi. Once again she tough me a lesson. well lesson indeed!

" rindu adik ini... saat kak xda kekuatan,byk kak belajar dr ketabahan zu.... terima kasih "

sangat tersentuh dengan massage yang diberi. ='(

 Life saya tidaklah se -challenge mana, tidak juga sehebat mana compared dengan orang lain. But for me I have gone through lots of bums and obstacle since I stepped into this campus.  Let get this straight, I am a weakest person ever! ever! ever!.  I remember upon my earlier semester, I kept on posting telling the world that how I hate my life, how bad life has treating me and how struggle am I to cope with this people in my uni and I screwed up everything. Still remember there was this one night, I cried so badly after solat . I was praying to Allah to make my life easier coz it was really hard for me that moment. I'm thinking to run to my mum and dad to beg them to take me home. =(
Until one day, this one conflict happened and there is where my turning point begins. I started to say to myself that I had enough negative vibes inside. I need to change, I need to alter, I need to chase the negative and fill with positive thinking. So I started to open my mind and change the perspective. I tried my best to accept things and look it into positive way. I realize that the way I lead my life previously isn't the best. I did muhasabah myself a few times. And I come out with some changes which is.....

I start to telling myself that I need to accept things redha-ly and stop comparing. Things that I am not use to it I will try to accept or change according to my way.  kalau tak boleh tukar physically, change the way you things about it. This work well, saya rasa lebih tenang dan gembira dengan my current life. 

I start to let myself free from things that I don't fell good about. Starting from last semester I decided to change my class and give a try to myself  to be fully independent. I prefer to be in  a class with non-bumiputra's and international student. The risk is there, I know whenever we do something that against from normality, people out there will start to talk. But since I wanna do a changes,why must bother cakap-cakap orang kan. Then I find out when we do things that we like, kita akan lagi bersemangat untuk apa yang mendatang. This is what I feel now. =)

I start to let myself go one step higher. Previously, I am a passive student. I refuse to join or involve myself with social life. My uni life was dull and boring that time. Hidup saya buku, study, buku , study.Then I realize, market is demanding now days.  If I refuse to get out  from my own world, I'll gain nothing. So, I started too look around for  any opportunity for me to build my soft skill. Alhamdulilah, Allah make my way easy. HE give my lots of opportunity to learn and gain. 

But in order to make changes you will go through lots of cabaran. Bear in mind " NO PAIN NO GAIN" ye dakk?  Me also tak terkecuali. cabaran saya walaupun tak sehebat mana but still I am proud with myself. Saya mampu bergerak dan  bekerja sendiri. owh, I am always forever alone.

Till this moment , saya realize. Allah maha hebat. Dia janji Manis tiba selepas pahit. Well, saya tak boleh deny sebab saya lalui itu semua. For all the sweat and tears before terima kasih kerana mengajar saya. For those out there dan juga to myself , positive la dengan hidup mungkin kadang-kadang kita tak tahu yang sebenarnya kehidupan kita akan lebih baik kalau kita start mencari titik perubahan. =)

p/s: stop bother cakap cakap negative orang, yes kita boleh ambil pedoman dari cakap-cakap itu tapi bukan sebagai penghalang.
p/s/s: I love my life.