hey HIKMAH i can see u.

ALHAMDULLILAH.

pending down this place for quite a period. pardon me.  sangat busy due to my limitless project,  program, meeting,kelab ect.. ect.. 

however, i fell blessed. i can fell the hikmah. for all the unsecured, scared and all the negative thought and feeling. hey, i dont bother you!
mungkin Allah nak bagi sign where the path and jalan yang dulu itu is not the best way for me to lead my uni life.even though i missing that only ONE. but ALLAH is so fair enough. HE make me loose one but HE pay me double!!!!!

lets count the blessing.

saya hilang satu kawan dalam kelas, tapi Allah kasi saya satu kelas kawan.
saya hilang satu tempat bergantung, tapi Allah kasi saya bertempat-tempat bergantung
saya hilang satu tempat tinggal, tapi Allah kasi saya satu, dua ,malah tiga tempat tinggal
saya hilang satu teman seperjuangan, tapi Allah kasi saya setaman teman perjuangan. 

alhamdulilah
i can see the hikmah. the hikmah spark on me. i got multiple of friends. with a multiple of way of friends. bilamana saya rasa gundah, saya tahu nak cari siapa, bilamana saya homesick saya tahu panggil siapa azankan, bilamana saya takot, sedih, huru hara saya tahu dengan siapa saya perlu tido, bilamana saya lapar saya tahu dapur mana saya pergi, bilamana saya mahu ketawa saya tahu mereka ada, bilamana saya mahu update diri, saya pasti saya tahu arah saya, bilamana saya rasa sayang, saya tahu dia, mereka, kamu ada dengan saya..

ALHAMDULILAH ,again for the blessing.

kawan-kawan can i count on you for anything, can i spread my love to you.

P/S:  kak lia, ifa, nisya, pei sze, adah, shira, wantian, sheng hong, jiawen, kak yat, kak yati abg ayien, kak b, kak cik su, kak ida, kak fiza, che ku, shida and the resttttttt.  TYVM.

p/s : hope there's some day we can bump each other and say HAI.

pain in silent.

im afraid to talk to anyone, i doesn't want to look weak, i dont want to be assumed to be over manja or what so ever, i really dont want my parents to worry all day long just because of my tears and hardships. i want to look healthy, i want to look brave and bubbly  i really want  my parent laugh happily when we're on call.

i'm afraid. my thoughts ran wild. i do have flaws. i means flawssssss. 

im totally freak, a girl with a jelly heart and super ridiculous thought of all the time. come with medium level of brilliance who are always careless in exam hall. i cry more than newborn baby. my HOMESICKNESS is my major weakness.  i don't know how to protect myself from fall into a trap, totally loser at socializing. i'm fail to make friends with my own race. shame on me!

i told my self frequently, so harsh! so harsh! I NEED TO BE STRONG. BE STRONG.  since there is noone to reply me, This is where i stand. miserable me. 

reminded myself, i am bless, i am lucky enough. im not diagnosed on anything serious( except for my serious homesickness). im lucky to have my dad and mum as my parents. both of them never complaint even a sec about me and my homesickness. then keep on motivate me, keep on treat me, keep on heal me. YA ALLAH, betapa bertuahnya saya.

mampukah bapa-bapa yang lain drive sejauh johor-penang every week just to ensure his baby girl can have a batter life. mampukah bapa-bapa lain muncul keesokan harinya selapas mendengar tangisan si anak apabila si anak perlukan physical support darinya even perjalanan nya sejauh penang-johor. mampukah emak-emak lain mengupdate si anak setiap hari without fail even anak nya sudah berumur 21 tahun. mampukah emak-emak lain menyediakan stock makanan bagi si anak sebanyak mungkin ketika berada jauh, mampukan emak-emak lain tidak merungut walupun sekali setiap kali si anak menghadapi masalah HOMESICK nya yang berlarutan selama hampir 4 tahun.  saya bukan dari keluarga yang kaya dengan wang ringgit. tapi saya rasa sangat bahagia apabila keluarga saya sangat kaya dengan kasih sayang.

 I had a hard life, but my hardships are nothing against the hardship that my abah and emak went through in order to get me to where i started. i must remember this always. as i try to think positively over the pain. So this is nothing. i still can count my blessing. This is just a temporary pain that can be heal! insyaAllah. DIA hanya menguji saya.

 

p/s: abah datang lagi after one week just to keep motivate me. to let me have a batter life here in uthm.

ilovebothofyou. abahemak.

 

same old shit

i wish i can ease this feeling.
i wish something miracle may come and rescue me this moment.
i wish i can simply blow all the obstacle
i wish no more tears for tomorrow
i wish the heart will beat a lil bit slower.
i wish i can be stronger than before.
i really need some motivation. come and motivate me people.

a very bad kickstart of new semester. tell me this is just a while.
Breathe,
im such a big girl,
I can handle my own things,



p/s : syukur, masih dapat ehsan dari mereka-mereka yang baik hati.

im back. FOR REAL

i'm back in parit raja land.
can't believe this were actually real.

what this new semester is all about?
not giving a shit, being strong, drama free, homesick no more,  housemates, goal.
cakap senang, eh tulis senang. but im hoping for real =)



p/s :  thanks to ifanita and kak lia for let me merempat.

THANK YOU 4 MONTH BREAK.

what a great holiday! i think i am sacrificed with this pass 4 month. i really had so much fun. i learned a lot of new things. i meet variety of people. i get chances to experienced  a lot of new stuff and the best part is i'm capable to earned money and spend without guilty. hee

mari kita buat 4 month old break checklist.

earned money.
working in the office.
Secretary
engineer
how to make delicious sambal belacan macam emak punya.
done with my 7 type of kuih raya.
meet most of my good friends.
driving
site visit
get involve with board of meeting
done with beberapa juzuk.
baking
ETS with along.
makan sana sini.
putrajaya visit.
survey camp.
ramadhan with whole family.
dating
shooping.
eid mubarak.

so much of 4 month. i am so bless, grateful and lucky. TERIMA KASIH ALLAH. 

4 month of..

all the eating drinking all the fiesta all the hard work all the experience all the going out till late night with your friends all the fun with family all the excitement all the noise all the fireworks all the money spend without the guilty.

its good to be HOME. i mean it's sooooo good to be home.

what's waiting you next.
all the classes all the me alone world all the tears all the missing part all the homesick all the books and calculator all the .. ok enough zuraini.  smack me hard this time.!  =(

p/s : xpe2, kalau ikut jam masih banyak masa lagi.     

DEAR Mr. Max Cheah

I nearly got myself in trouble!

shit!
SHIT....

I was supposed to send this email to the client and being very formal, it's supposed to start with 'Dear Mr Max Cheah'.

I typed until the end and attached the necessary files and was about to click send...

Until I re-read and saw this...


Dead Mr Max Cheah,


Haha... I nearly pissed off the client. GReat?!


btw, officially announce that i'm free from EESB. so, needa back to my parit. PARIT RAJA. 


P/S: countdown buat kekasih hati. selamat mengejar bola di padang.