i think i had gone through such a big obstacle this time. saya buntu. i have no idea at all of what  i am dealing with.Seem like i just meet the end road. oh, hati saya tidak tenang. There is a voice in my mind. i can't figure out what actually is all about.  The true is I AM NOT HAPPY WITH MY Lifeee. This fucking feeling just make me sick.

i can say that i did not know how to socialize myself with those people in uni. saya tidak faham gurauan mereka. Saya tidak mengerti akan cara pemikiran mereka.kehidupan mereka, background mereka. penghujungnya, saya tidak tahu bergaul dengan mereka.and this serious thing is, im exhausted man! penat mahu melayan perasaan ini.

well, i am just a ordinary girl. sometime i do act typically. but why i find it hard for me to bergaul and understand with those people. KENAPA??  saya LOSER bukan.

i try to dig around for a solution. i failed for that. And i started to think. since primary sehingga la high school saya hanya rapat degan kawan yang berbangsa bukan melayu. i can just name you, all my friend list are all chinese and indian. hanya segelintir melayu sahaya yang hadir dalam kehidupan saya ketika di bangku sekolah. TETAPI all of them are just link to me. saya happy dengan kehidupan saya. but after i left my high school, saya macam mengalami kejutan budaya. i find ouT cara and life style begitu ketara which i have difficulties to cope with it. serious saya sangat LOSER. 
OK.enough saying. saya patut fikir positive.
i guess ALLAH amat sayang saya . DIA hanya mahu menguji saya. jadi i have to proof that i can walk it through.

i love my bff. AHLAM. i think i have enough because i have her in my life. <3